Feeling Busy… But Going Nowhere
Some days I get so bogged down in tasks I feel like I don’t have time to lift my head up. Task saturation is such a common thing in our world today — and it turns the future bleak.
I feel swept up and consumed by the demands of work, family, errands, and whatever emerges. With the hyper-active hive mind we all live in with our devices and the internet, we can always feel important and busy — but this comes with a cost.
When unchecked, personally, I become a slave to these external forces. Whether it’s the newest email in the inbox, the notification on my phone, the latest video presented by my YouTube algorithm, the feeling of being busy — having my attention consumed by something — takes priority, despite how meaningless the activity is.
Selfishness of Productivity Culture
Ironically, I think the devotion to these demands comes from a self-centered and overly attached mind-state. Let me explain:
Our wish to scratch that itch — of not wanting to be bored, or feeling unproductive — gets in the way of grappling with things of substance. It’s like a lifestyle of being a mile wide and an inch deep.
Personally, when I get in this mode, I get tunnel vision and attached to ideas and drives that I am actually harming my “progress.” I get attached to the feeling of doing something rather than doing nothing.
Because I have the strong belief that uncalibrated productivity interferes with our ability to sit in the discomfort of the question, “What should I be doing right now?” In the empty space that used to be boredom and is now pull-out-our-iPhones-and-look-busy is where subconscious roiling that allowed us to contemplate our “place” in life.
False Progress and Hollow Optimization
When is the feeling of progress actually indicative of actual progress?
In our hyper-modern world, this system can be hijacked. People like Dr. Anna Lemke — among other scientifically minded people — discuss how our dopaminergic systems are affected by the internet and our consumerist society. “Dopamine is about wanting, not about having,” indicating that the act of progressing toward something of value triggers dopamine.
The question, then, is: “what are we valuing” because the answer will set the rules of the dopamine game.
For example, coming out of college, one of my first jobs was being a glorified telemarketer/inside sales rep for a youth baseball organization. I was not very good at it, nor did I like it — but for months, I felt productive hitting all of my outbound call numbers. I was trying to find my way in the professional world, and just wanted to do a good job — thinking that was the best approach. It didn’t matter if 45 people hung up on me and I made no sales, being busy felt good.
I was playing the optimizing game: I kept trying to figure out the best ways to organize the numbers I had to dial, ways of greeting people, leaving voicemails, texts, etc. I bought into the role of being a sales guy… for about 3 or 4 weeks.
But on a deeper level, I didn’t think through the fitness of the role with who I actually am and what makes me tick.
I failed to contemplate the best “place” for me to be, until I couldn’t hide my misery any more. Once I stopped lying to myself, I realized that I needed to get into another game — because sales wasn’t it.
We oftentimes get so locked into current circumstances, accept the conditions, and try to improve from there, without first nailing the fitness of the pursuit.
Optimizing a false aim just leads to deeper misery. As an introverted and reserved guy, doubling down on building sales-guy-skills was a dead end.
The motivation to get through all my calls was not sustainable because if I looked at my life from (the proverbial) 30,000ft view I knew I belonged elsewhere and having a 7 minute conversation with a coach about signing up for a tournament no longer triggered the dopamine dump it initially did.
Sucking as a Beginner
But it’s difficult to know whether the slowness of achievement is the natural progression of doing anything hard… or whether I was in the wrong situation — the wrong “game.”
Because starting over is not fun.
We all can think back to being a beginner at something. For example, Jiu Jitsu has a rough beginner stage, which I started at age 24. 7.5 years later, I am still more of a beginner than not.
I quit the inside sales position after a few months — but have persisted with jiu jitsu for 7 years. My jiu jitsu success is not much better than my sales success, but I’m still as fired up about it as I was when I started.
What is the difference in what keeps me going in one — but quit with another?
Do I feel like a quitter because I abruptly said “I’m done” with smiling-and-dialing for a job? (No — I felt liberated).
But how would I feel if I quit jiu jitsu?
I’d feel like a weenie.
So, why?
I think the answer comes down to the stories I tell about myself and why I’m “here” and how I contextualize my day to day actions with my life aims.
Our Hero’s Journey
It comes from the initial framing of these stories: the Hero’s Journey (see: Joesph Campbell).
As the main character in our life story the failure many of us take part in is not adopting that framework sufficient enough to get us doing what we can with our lives. (Myself included).
The right Hero’s Journey story for our own life can have transformational power in what we see and perceive — thus what we face and interact with on a daily basis.
In the sea of potentiality of all “things” we can do today, tomorrow, next week, next month, etc. there is an “ideal.”
In getting closer to that ideal, we change as people. We become more capable, we gain better relationships, experiences, etc.
For every phase shift comes a possible shift to that ideal future. Let me give you an example: from my sales job, I needed to find another path and occupation — which led me to working with the tech that enables sales people — and designing and working with the CRM software used by sales people across the world.
It got me closer to things that fit with my character and skill-set — getting me closer to my hero’s journey — but still not “on” the hero’s path.
Step by step, as I learned more basic skills, got some experiences, leveled up, made relationships, etc. that when more pathways have opened up.
It’s slow, and tedious, and annoying, and frustrating — but the pattern remains the same. I assume the pattern will always be the same and that I will never reach the “pure ” and “ideal” hero’s journey we see in movies and books (Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, etc.) but we can always tack closer to it.
The Hero’s Path Approach
And at a more meta-level, the real hero’s journey for us humans is the project of crafting and working toward the ideal life for us.
This can only come from a 3-step loop, constantly running:
1) Reflect
2) Aim
3) Execute (Loop).
As I struggle with this process (as I am right now), I get frustrated when my idea of success doesn’t happen now.
This is a failure on my part.
The hero’s journey is defined by obstacles, by hardships, by setbacks — and it’s precisely the hero’s toolkit that leads to persistence and overcoming those challenges.
Sometimes that persistence means having the self-awareness to know that you need to backtrack and start something new.
Where to Start
I don’t have answers.
But I do have an approach that (I think) is grounded in reality:
Nobody else is here to tell us what to do with our lives. As children, we did. We had school, sports, and other structured activities our parents put us in.
One of the hardest part of transitioning into adulthood is picking up that responsibility for ourselves. I have “fallen into” many situations in life that were convenient or the best available choice at the time — and have stuck with it longer than I would have wanted. Saying “no” to things — whether it’s tempting food, entertainment, gossip on social media, news, or even shiny opportunities — requires a better reason. I think that “better reason” comes in the form of how we frame our conscious experience with stories of who we are, why we’re here, and what we’re supposed to do with the finite time we have alive on this planet.
The cumulative “story” that emerges is our Hero’s Journey — and it’s up to us to make the story not stink.
Of course, the framing is just the beginning — but without it, we’re marks for hustlers trying to grab our attention and deliver quick hitting dopamine, as their business model depends on it.
Putting it into Practice
There’s no quick solution to “get on the path,” but there are steps to get there.
Reverse-engineering an ideal future (exercise below) is a great place to start — as it helps crystallize the vision of an ideal future.
In that ideal future, you get to be the main character. From there you can start to break down the things you want into plans and actions — but that comes later.
If you want to take that first step and — at the very least — grapple with the question: “what do I want with my life?” some slow momentum can build… and even compound into something special.
In the loop discussed above, this is the “reflect” and “aim” step. Nobody can execute and loop but you.
Interested in Next Steps?
If you’re tired of feeling busy but going nowhere, it’s time to create your own Hero’s Path with the ‘Big Plan Blueprint’ — designed to deliver intentional clarity instead of reactive busyness.
- The Big Plan Blueprint is a free exercise I’ve created to help you reverse-engineer your ideal future—the one that resonates with who you truly are, not what others expect of you.
- This foundational work creates the ‘attachment points’. These points transform random tasks into meaningful progress. They build the internal drive that sustains you through challenges.
- Take 15 minutes now to set up the vision that will transform how you experience every day that follows.
